“Where are you studying now?”, “Got girlfriend/boyfriend already or not?!” Sounds familiar? Chinese New Year is just around the corner and what better way is there to prepare yourself by learning a few ways to counter your kaypoh relatives who are ever so deeply concerned about your academic life and relationships.
#1 Stuff Your Mouth!
Whenever you’re in doubt, just stuff your face in a tub of pineapple tarts. After all, isn’t Chinese New Year mostly about the Chinese New Year goodies and Angpaos? Discussing food matters is much less awkward compared to probing questions about your boyfriend/girlfriend.
#2 The Classic Phone to Face
I’m sure most of you are familiar with this technique. Whenever you feel like a question is coming your way, just put up this defence mechanism. Once you see one of your KPO relatives approaching, simply whip out your phone and just stare at it intensely. If that doesn’t work, you can go to the next level, by having a verbal conversation with Siri. This method has a 99% success rate when avoiding awkward situations. It has been tested and verified by professionals(me).
#3 Turn On Your Mute Button
Pretending you’ve lost your voice is definitely a hard act to keep up, but definitely worth it. It’s the art of remaining silent that keeps the nosey relatives at bay. But it is crucial that you do not blow your cover!
#4 The Safe House
Making a beeline for the toilet frequently is a more extreme approach to avoiding awkward questions as there is little to no interaction with your relatives. Although it may be one of the safest methods, it is also risky as you may lose out on the collection of Angpaos (depending on your families)
#5 Take It Like A Man
If all else fails, there’s no choice but to simply take it like a man and answer those annoyingly awkward questions. After all, you are still collecting Ang paos from them, so just treat it like a give and take situation.
All jokes aside, Chinese New Year is a time for family reunions, how often do you get to be with all your relatives at once? We should never take it for granted. I hope all of you have a Happy Chinese New Year. HUAT AH!